Dear GirlShrink,
This may sound a little bit skanky -- but it really could happen to anyone. I am dating a great guy and have been for about 3 months. While that it isn't really such a long time, we have really connected. But my ex found out and came to visit me about 7 weeks ago, trying to convince me that he had changed and that he knew stuff about the new guy that I needed to know.

He ended up telling me something that the guy already told me, so I wasn't surprised, but I was in love with him once -- so I slept with him. He just seemed to serious about wanting me back - I was kind of flattered.

He still wants me back. Calls me everyday. But I am still dating the new guy. Bottom line here is that I'm pregnant and I slept with both of them within days of each other. I don't know who the father is. If it's my ex's - I don't want it. It would only escalate our issues. If it's the new guy's...maybe. Also - just to add I'm 27 and I have a great job. I could take care of the baby by myself. I just want the right dad.
Tonya,
Louisiana

Dear Tonya,
Yes, this could possibly happen to anyone - and has a million times - or there wouldn't be talk shows who stay on television by taking paternity tests! So I hear you. But of course -- I must ask why you didn't have enough forethought to use protection when having sex. Especially when you are having sex with multiple partners. Especially when you are not in a committed relationship with either of them right now. One is out the door and one just got invited in!

Please use protection! Now having said that, the fact that you don't want your ex's baby is irrelevant at this point if you don't plan on having an abortion. Because at this point you have a 50/50 chance of that being the case.

What you need to think about at this point - is NOT the father. And think about the mother. Do you want this baby? Even if it is Ronald Mcdonald's Kid! Can you step up and take the full-time responsibility of being a mother. It sounds like you can. And so that's what you need to worry about. The father is going to be whoever it is. And you when you find that out, you just need to make sure that you work hard to include him in your child's life. Regardless of who he is. Regardless of whether or not you are together with him. Regardless of whether or not he gets on your nerves. As long as your safety is not an issue -- either man has the right and morally has the duty to be in your child's life.

I think the other issue here is that you think once you tell the new guy about what happened that he won't be interested in you anymore...or that he'll be very angry...and that could happen. But you know what -- you can't worry about that now. Get the hard part over with now and tell both of them - so that you're not hurting someone much worse once the baby is already born. It's a hard pill to swallow, because they may not be there for your during your pregnancy. They may be angry OR it could be that they both fight for you that much harder. Who knows. Just tell the truth now so you can have a stress-free pregnancy and get that weight off of your shoulder.